必经之路

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The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. —John 3:8

Many people miss the past, and always feel that they were happier and had fewer worries in the past.

Around the 1980s, people generally had fewer worries.

In that era, most people's worries were how to keep themselves well fed and clothed and to provide their children with money to go to school.

I remember that when I was in elementary school, the tuition fee was five dollars per semester, and I had to drag it out for several weeks to get it together. Now it is different. Most people don’t worry about food and clothing. No matter how poor a person is, even if he lives in a remote area, he can solve his own food and clothing as long as he wants.

This is a good thing for peace and policy. However, if material conditions improve, people become richer and more wealthy, will their worries be solved? This is not the case in real life! When you are poor, you only have one worry: no money. After you have money, countless worries arise. If you are not full, you only have one worry. After you are full, you will have to face many worries.

Let's look around. Which family is truly happy? We think our neighbor Wang's family is nice, but when we go to his house, we find that he also has many troubles. Look at ourselves. When we tutor our children, we are always in a mess and lose control of our emotions. When we get along with our spouse, we have conflicts over trivial matters almost every day. At work, we always feel that the company owes us something. When we live with our parents/in-law, we have all kinds of conflicts that cannot be reconciled…

In modern society, people's mental condition seems to be getting worse and worse.

In 2022, the number of depression patients in my country reached 95 million, and this number is still increasing rapidly. According to statistics, my country's youth suicide rate has ranked first in the world. These data may not be very accurate, but it is no longer new to see various social news about youth suicide from time to time.

I know a primary school teacher who has taught many classes. She often encounters some special children in her class: autistic, manic, depressed. I also know a teacher from a famous university. He said that more than ten years ago, the school only had two or three psychological counselors. Now the school has more than 20 psychological counselors, and they are still too busy. Whether it is primary school or university, this phenomenon is already common. School is a relatively simple place, and the main task is only to study. But if it is like this in school, what about outside of school?

Some people say: “My child's character flaws are innate, there is nothing I can do about it!”

It is not ruled out that some children have congenital diseases, but most problem children are “influenced” by adults. Let me show you an example that actually happened in real life.

Grandpa brought Erbao back. Erbao entered the password, Dabao was watching TV, and I was busy with other things.

Dabao helped Erbao open the door. The door was pushed open and Erbao burst into tears. I came out after hearing the sound and saw that Erbao's lips were swollen and bleeding.

After a strong heartache, I was furious and kicked Dabao's butt twice. I shouted at Dabao: “Be careful when you push the door. Don't you know your sister is outside?!”

I saw Grandpa next to him biting his lips, but he didn't say anything, just with an ugly expression.

I must be terrible when I am angry. Dabao was scared and cried, and Erbao also burst into tears.

After the emotions passed a little, I still asked Dabao sternly: “Do you know where you are wrong?”

“Next time, I won't open the door for my sister next time!” Dabao answered timidly.

I got emotional again and shouted loudly: “My sister can't open the door, and you won't open it for her?!”

Dabao: “I will help her open the door, and then push it open gently.” This is such a story, submitted by a student from the Must-Pass Road, which is an example of her failure to notice things in time in her life.

I replied to her:

When people are controlled by their emotions, they become extremely stupid.

The eldest child opened the door and injured the second child. At this moment, the one who needs comfort the most is actually your eldest child! At that moment, she must be extremely scared. She is still young and doesn’t know how this could happen: how could she hurt her sister when she was kind enough to help open the door? And the injury was so serious!

I know she must have been terrified! She hurt her sister, and her mother would definitely scold her! This fear is psychological. Although Erbao was slightly injured, it was physical, but it would be a little more troublesome to deal with. But after seeing the way you handled it, I felt heartbroken for a long time. For your Dabao, and for you! It's all very pitiful.

If things go on like this, and your eldest child has psychological problems, or your eldest child has a bad relationship with you, you will definitely be very anxious, and you don’t know why! Little do you know that the root cause lies in you!

If the family environment remains like this for a long time, Dabao's personality may be greatly affected.

If you pay attention, you will find similar examples everywhere in life, examples of people hurting those close to them because of their emotions.

Some people say, “I just can't control my temper.” It's not that I can't control my temper, but that my temper controls me. It's not that I can't control my emotions, but that my emotions control me.

edit 1.1 Machine? Slave? We are not only controlled by emotions, but also by various “habits”. We are busy every day, busy with work, busy with travel, busy with socializing, busy with entertainment, and when we have a little free time, we start to scroll through short messages.

Video. It seems that our lives are very “efficient”. We are familiar with many things and can complete them almost without thinking, including chatting with people. Mr. Lu Xun is a great writer. He has portrayed many typical characters in his works, such as Kong Yiji, Ah Q, and Xianglin Sao. Do you still remember Xianglin Sao?

The people in the town still called her Xianglin's Wife, but the tone of their voice was very different from before; they still talked to her, but their smiles were cold. She ignored all that, and just stared with eyes wide open, telling everyone the story she had never forgotten day and night:

“I was really stupid, really,” she said, “I only knew that wild animals in the mountains would come to the village when they had nothing to eat during the snow; I didn't know that they would come to the village in the spring as well. I got up early in the morning and opened the door, took a small basket and filled it with beans, and told our Ah Mao to sit on the doorstep and shell the beans. He was a very obedient child, and he listened to every word I said; so he went out. I chopped wood and washed rice behind the house, and when the rice was put into the pot, I planned to steam the beans. I called, 'A Mao!' but there was no response. When I went out to look, I saw only beans scattered all over the ground, and our Ah Mao was nowhere to be found. I went around asking around, but no one could find him. I got anxious and asked people to go look for him. It was not until the afternoon that a few people went to the valley and saw one of his small shoes hanging on a thorny firewood. Everyone said, it's over, he must have been killed by wolves; when we went in again, sure enough, he was lying in a grass nest, his internal organs had been eaten out, and poor thing, he was still holding the small basket tightly in his hand.

…” She then shed tears and her voice became sobbing.

…

She just kept telling people her miserable story, often attracting three or five people to listen to her. But soon, everyone became familiar with it, and even the most compassionate old ladies who chanted the Buddha's name no longer had any trace of tears in their eyes. Later, almost everyone in the town could recite her words, and they felt annoyed and had a headache when they heard them.

“I'm so stupid, really,” she said at first.

“Yes, you came to the village just because you knew that the wild animals in the mountains had no food to eat during the snowy season.” They immediately interrupted her and walked away.

… —Lu Xun, “Blessings” Why did Xianglin's Wife keep repeating this story? Didn't she know that others had heard it before and were tired of it? No, she just didn't know what she was doing. She was like a machine, and as soon as she saw a basket or a child, she would start telling the story of Ah Mao.

You may think that Xianglin Sao is a character in a novel and that she became like this because she was hit hard. No, if you pay attention, you will find that there are “Xianglin Sao” everywhere in real life. Taiwanese writer Sanmao also recorded a similar experience:

One day, when Sanmao was cooking, she suddenly heard the chirping of birds outside the window, and without thinking, she shouted to Hexi, “Look out the window!” Unexpectedly, after seeing the birds, Hexi, who was usually introverted and taciturn, started to talk non-stop. He talked about his childhood experience of climbing mountains and trees to catch birds, and going to the river to catch small fish and shrimps with his friends. Even when Sanmao was tired of listening, he was still not satisfied and kept talking. Later, there were several similar experiences, and Sanmao found that as long as she talked about the breeze, white clouds and birds outside the window, Hexi, the introverted boy, always seemed to have turned on a switch for talking, and he would talk endlessly.

In the past, when I went home and wanted to chat with my mother, I just asked: “Mom, you are so capable and so beautiful, why did you fall in love with my dad at that time?” After hearing this question, my mother would definitely start talking about her own experiences when she was young, and she would not stop for more than half an hour.

Here is another real-life scenario:

Xiaohong has a good job, two lovely children, and a husband who loves her. Xiaohong works from 9 to 6 every day, and chats with her bestie on weekends. The content of the chat is nothing more than complaining about the boss to gossip. If the bestie feels bored, she will ask: How is your mother-in-law recently? Xiaohong will definitely say: “As for her, it's better not to mention it. I'm really fed up with her. Every day she…”

If she is not interrupted, Xiaohong can talk for half an hour. Next time, as long as her bestie starts the conversation, she will ask: How is your mother-in-law doing recently?

Xiao Hong would start again: “As for her, it's better not to mention her…”

When Jesus was dying, he said, “Forgive them, God, for they do not know what they are doing.”

These habits are different from addiction to cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs. The latter are very obvious and you know they are not good, but the former are not easy to detect. Even if you notice them, you think they are nothing and don’t need to care about them.

It seems that everything in life follows certain patterns, happening over and over again.

If you observe carefully, you will find that your behavior is also very mechanical. You go to work, work, get off work, eat, talk, and sleep mechanically. You think that your daily life should be like this; when others praise you, you are happy, no matter how false what they say is; when others scold you, you get angry, no matter how true what they say is; you look at your phone while eating, listen to novels while riding in the car, and think about things while working.

Where to go after work? After get off work, you worry about not preparing for tomorrow's meeting. You get angry when you see your children playing games, and you get upset when you hear your spouse nagging. You always want to move to a bigger house, and after you have a big house, you want a bigger villa. You always want a higher position, and after you have a high position, you want to continue to climb up… Everyone is just a machine, well, a more powerful machine. In the machine, countless established programs are set up, and some new programs are constantly forming.

Back to the previous sentence: “I just can't control my emotions!”

Of course you can't control your emotions, because the outburst of emotions is a program in your machine, and you are just a tool to execute the program. So you get angry when you see your children playing video games, you get upset when you hear your lover nagging, and Xiaohong complains for half an hour when she mentions her mother-in-law. These are all buttons to start the program! And you are the machine that is started! If I say that you are a machine, you will be unhappy: you are the machine, and your whole family is a machine! But if I say that everyone is a machine, you will feel much more comfortable.

Look! This is also a reaction pattern, and also a program.

However, you are a human being! The most spiritual creature in the world, why are you willing to become a machine? Why are you bound by those “programs and patterns” for your whole life?

You were born with wings, so why do you want to crawl on the ground all your life like an ant?

Becoming a machine is not that hard to accept. You can pay attention to your daily behavior, eating, walking, talking, breathing, blinking, etc. You don't have to pay attention to your body, your body moves on its own. However, what is hard to accept is that you are not the master of this machine, but the slave of this machine. It's frustrating, but this is the truth.

People are born free, but as they grow up, they become less and less free, constantly adding new “programs and patterns” and eventually becoming a machine, or even a slave to the machine. Isn't that right? Ask the children around you, they have many wild dreams. Ask the adults around you, they care about almost the same things: appearance, weight, grades, reputation, food,

Money, love, family, career… these “cares” are a kind of “constraint” and have become everyone's “obsession”.

Family, love, career, food, shouldn't we care about them all? Should we let go of them all? What's the point of life then? No, you don't need to let go of everything, but you need to let go of your attachment to everything! You can love food very much, but you can also accept a simple meal every day; you can exercise every day, but you can also accept that you are not in good health; you can teach your children to study very hard, but you can also accept that they fail the exam; you can work hard to start a business, but you can also accept that it doesn't work; you can love a girl very much, but you can also accept that she will eventually leave you…

This is letting go of attachments. Only by letting go of attachments can you untie those shackles, not be controlled by “programs and patterns”, and gain freedom. It is not accurate to say that you should let go of attachments. Those attachments do not really exist. When you see this truth clearly, attachments disappear, shackles disappear, and freedom appears.

Some people often say, I hope I can be financially free. What they mean is that when I am very rich, I will be financially free. Can money give people freedom? No, what really makes you free is definitely not “money”. I have a neighbor, a family of four. The husband is a senior executive in a large company at a young age and is also a partner. The wife is a full-time housewife with one son and one daughter.

One evening, I came back from a walk and saw the hostess playing outside with her son. She said, “Blue Lion, I envy you so much. You drink tea and read books every day. Don't live too comfortably.” I said, “You can do that too!”

She said: “We have to make money, the pressure is too great.”

After hearing this, I was a little surprised and said, “If you don't have tens of billions of assets, you must have a few hundred million, right? That must be enough!”

“What's the use of several hundred million? My son was born in Hong Kong. I wanted him to go to school in Hong Kong. I bought a house in Hong Kong, and several hundred million are gone.”

There shouldn’t be too many stories like this about rich people not being free.

Money is magical, and it has an impact on everyone that cannot be ignored. If you expect to use money to make yourself free, it is almost impossible. If people know that those rich people are also unhappy, I wonder if they will still work so hard to make money.

How much money is appropriate? A classmate of the Necessary Path complained: “I have some financial problems, and I always feel that my life is very tight.” I said: “Actually, this is a manifestation of good fortune. For ordinary people, this state is the most appropriate. It means that you have some money, but it feels a little bit insufficient. If you have less, you will not be able to live well; if you have more, you will not be able to live well.”

Many people, when they become rich, it is not that “they have money”, but that “money has them”. Well, they fail to be the master of money, but become the slave of money, just like many people become slaves of “emotions”. The most perfect slavery is to let the slaves think they are the masters.

The perfect prison is one in which the prisoners do not know they are in prison.

They must love their chains and think that

without them they would have nothing. —Huxley Money is very powerful. The prison it forms is almost perfect. Most people in the world are trapped in it and love their chains. There is a saying: The world is bustling, all for profit; the world is bustling, all for profit. The reason why the prison of money is “almost perfect” is that the prison created by money still has many flaws. Here are two major flaws of the prison of money. One is that when you have enough money, you may see the “incompetence of money” (just a possibility), which is why some stars and world-class rich people let go of their obsession with money after having countless wealth. Some people begin to be keen on doing charity and public welfare, while others lose their goals in life after having enough money, become confused or even depressed, and some give up everything to become monks and practice. Because they see the incompetence of money, the prison of money naturally disappears. However, this flaw is difficult for ordinary people to grasp, so more rich people will feel that the money is still not enough and will continue to work hard to make money. Another flaw is that when you have the courage to give up everything, the prison of money will also be broken. You can give up everything, even life, of course, including money. When you have the courage to give up everything, strength will begin to grow within you.

If you think even the days of begging are a rare experience, will you still be bound by money? If a person can accept that he has “nothing”, how can money still trap him? Many people can try to break through this loophole.

A person with good understanding may see here that cracks may begin to appear in the prison that once trapped him.

It does not mean that you should not make money, it does not mean that you should give up the enjoyment of luxury houses, luxury cars and money, it does not mean that you should give up all your money. Instead, it means that you should let go of your obsession with all money and let go of the “mind” that wants to make money all the time.

The prison formed by money is almost perfect, and its effect is very terrifying. It can bind 90% of the people in the world. But there is a prison that is more perfect and more terrifying than the prison of money. That prison can imprison 99.99% of the people in the world. That is the prison formed by “self”! Even the “prison of money” is in the “prison of self”. Even if you escape from the “prison of money”, you will still be trapped in the “prison of self”. In the “prison of self”, almost every slave thinks that he is the master, and almost every prisoner does not know that he is in prison. They love their chains. They work hard and make money desperately. They constantly strive for everything and hope to get more. For this, they do not hesitate to fall into jealousy, greed, fear, anxiety, anger, madness, self-blame, pain and other emotions. Almost everything they do in their lives is to strengthen the chains that bind themselves! Because they think that if they lose their chains, they will have nothing! Ridiculous? It is very ridiculous! But the truth of life is just like this!

I am not exaggerating, and you should not think you are an exception. How can we break the chains and destroy the prison? How can we become the master of the machine? How can we gain true freedom? Take your time, and that is what this book is about.

What does true freedom look like? The classics say:

Bodhisattva, because of the Prajna Paramita, has no worries in his heart. Because there are no worries, there is no terror. He is far away from delusions and dreams and finally attains Nirvana. —Heart Sutra of Prajnaparamita

The sutra describes a state: true freedom is the mind without worries. The general meaning is: those Bodhisattvas who have practiced well can achieve the state of having no worries because they have the true wisdom of Prajna.

7 In fact, everyone has nothing. Of course, everyone also has everything.

890% and 99.99%, don't worry about the accuracy of these two numbers, I just wrote them casually to describe the power of the two, and the greater power of the “self-prison”! If there is no worry, there will be no fear, anxiety, or trouble in the heart. They live in awareness and naturally stay away from upside-down dreams and achieve ultimate nirvana.

Does it seem profound? No, it is not profound, but very simple, so simple that it is “unbelievable”: it is inconceivable and inexplicable. The truth must be simple.

How can we be free from worries and gain true freedom?

edit 1.2 Only when you can see can you be free It is almost impossible for a person to live in this world without worries, but we can reduce worries.

When there are fewer and fewer things that bother you, you will be freer and freer. However, reducing your worries is not the ultimate solution. When some worries are reduced, new worries will arise. Just like when your hair grows long, you cut it off and new hair will grow. You have participated in many trainings, and each time you have gained a lot and solved your problems, but why is life still so difficult? Because new worries appear every day.

The real solution is to make the problem no longer a problem, and to make the worries no longer worries. This is to “transcend” worries. How can we transcend worries? The principle is very simple. All worries must have a point of attachment, otherwise the worries cannot be attached. And the point of attachment for everyone's worries is the same thing: “self”. I have no money, I am not good-looking, my children are disobedient, the company is unfair to me…all these are because of “me”.

When the “self” does not exist, there is nothing to rely on. To put it another way, all bondage comes from the attachment to the “self”. When the “self” does not exist, all bondage disappears. This is not what I said, but what Lao Tzu said:

The reason I have great worries is that I have a body. If I have no body, what worries do I have? —Tao Te Ching, Chapter 13 The literal translation means: The reason why I have so many troubles is because I have this body. If I didn’t have this body, what troubles would I have?

Of course, this is just the literal meaning. We are usually used to thinking of our bodies as ourselves, so a further understanding is: the reason why I have so many troubles is because I am too attached to “myself”. If I am not attached to “myself”, what troubles can I have? If you can improve your “cultivation insights”, some worries will naturally disappear. Classmate A is a mother, let's take a look at the homework she handed in. The baby didn't take a nap in the afternoon, and I turned off the lights at 8:40 in the evening to coax the baby to sleep. The baby kept talking, and I wanted to slap him on the butt and tell him to go to bed. See. I didn't say anything and continued to accompany him to sleep. After a while, he spit on the bed again, laughing while spitting. I was a little angry, and I wanted to severely stop the baby's behavior. See.

I didn't say anything and continued to accompany him to sleep. The baby fell asleep at 9:10.

I found that the child talks, laughs, and spits before going to bed, which he thinks are fun. I just watch and use awareness to manage myself, and my life is very quiet. When a mother understands that the child talks, laughs, and spits before going to bed, these behaviors are what the child thinks are fun, the mother does not need to do anything, just see her own thoughts, and the previous worries will naturally disappear. In the homework, the word “see” is used twice. It means that when the angry emotion appears, the mother sees it in time. If the emotion is not seen in time, the slap will be given, or a few loud scoldings will be given, and the child will probably make a fuss for a while before going to sleep. The “see” here means awareness.

The Road to Must-go will hold a Novice Village every month. On the one hand, it is to let “novices” understand the Road to Must-go, and on the other hand, it is to let participants understand what “seeing” means. The Novice Village will set some tasks, one of which is this: Keep a day without thinking about other people's mistakes. Participants are required to be vigilant at all times and not think about other people's mistakes in their hearts. Student Z's homework is as follows:

Today is Monday and we have a weekly meeting in the morning.

The boss of a department has been late for some unknown reason recently. He was late again last week, which affected the negotiation with the client. I summarized several faults of this boss and prepared to criticize him severely at the regular meeting this morning. I want to vent my anger and let him learn a lesson, and let others learn a lesson. The homework of the novice village “Don't think about other people's mistakes” reminded me that I can't just deal with it. He has many advantages in his daily work, and he may have his reasons for being late.

So, I found him and talked to him before the meeting. I found out that he had a patient at home who was sent to the hospital for injections every morning. I said you can come to work later, as long as you can arrange your work. You usually work very hard. I originally planned to criticize you in the morning meeting.

At the morning meeting, I not only did not criticize him, but praised him for his hard work. Even though there was a patient at home, he still insisted on working. We should all learn from him.

After the morning meeting, I felt an indescribable feeling in my heart. The Novice Village helped me a lot.

Did you find the key point? Student Z was thinking about the mistakes of the head of a certain department, one after another. Under normal circumstances, he would get angrier and angrier the more he thought about it. This is the boss's daily “mode”. This mode will automatically run after being triggered by the event “the head of a certain department is late again”. But this time, Student Z stopped halfway because he had to do his homework, and the mode was terminated. The result was different. Let's look at Student Y's example:

I left the subway station and walked ten minutes to the company. Suddenly, someone on an electric scooter passed by me quickly, bumped my arm, and left without looking back. I was about to curse him, but then I saw my own thoughts and laughed. Yes, I wasn't hurt, was it necessary? Thinking about my previous behavior, I felt a little ashamed.

Did you find the key point? Student Y was bumped into for no reason, and his natural reaction was to curse back.

But this time, classmate Y saw himself and was about to curse back! This pattern was terminated, and the result was naturally different. Two very real and life examples. If we don’t “see” the current thoughts in time, we will be unconsciously carried away by the “pattern” as usual. Most emotions are generated in this way. But in these two examples, because of “seeing”, the pattern was terminated, and we can no longer be controlled by the pattern, let alone by emotions. At this time, “I” is not a machine, but free.

The key point is “being able to see”. See your own thoughts, see your own patterns. Once you see, you will no longer be carried away by the pattern, and you will have the freedom to choose. On the contrary, if you cannot see it in time, you will follow the “established procedure” and be carried away by the “opposite situation”. Student Z will get angrier and angrier as he thinks about it, criticize his subordinates at the regular meeting, and then regret that he was wrong afterwards. Student Y may have scolded the other party several times, and the other party may not be able to bear it, so he stops to scold or even fight, which delays a lot of things. Afterwards, the two of them felt: It’s not worth it for such a small matter, why didn’t I control my emotions at the time? ! There is also a question in the Novice Village of the Must-Pass Road, which is the “24 Hours of Kindness” activity, which records every time you are kind. One of Student X’s homework is this:

In the afternoon, I opened the door and found a caterpillar in the yard. I habitually raised my foot and prepared to step on it to death. Seeing my thoughts, I remembered that I should be kind today! My foot fell from the side, and I found a stick, picked up the caterpillar, and sent it to the grass on the side of the road.

When I saw this homework, I was very moved. X's “seeing” changed the fate of a life at this moment. The world has become a little better because of X's seeing! Only when you can see can you be free! This ability to “see” is what I call “awareness”. Practicing in life is to cultivate awareness.

edit 1.3 Practice in daily life The idiom “restless and unruly” is very vivid, saying that the “heart” is jumping up and down like a monkey and the “will” is uncontrollable like a wild horse.

The only way is to encourage everyone to copy the classics and teach everyone how to observe their own “heart” while copying the classics:

When you are seated, you can copy the scriptures with a pen and paper. The process of copying the scriptures is a good process for practicing awareness, just like meditation.

Many people expect to meditate while copying scriptures. If so, you first need to know what meditation is.

When someone is copying scriptures, they see their thoughts flying around, and they get very annoyed, thinking that they can't calm down when copying scriptures. In fact, this is not the case. A calm lake will always have some ripples, but ripples do not affect the calmness of the lake. “The chirping of cicadas makes the forest even quieter, and the singing of birds makes the mountain even quieter.” Hearing the birds singing shows that the mountain is quieter. Being able to see the flying of thoughts is like hearing the birds singing, which means that your mind has calmed down.

Your heart is the entire ocean, and your thoughts are the waves on the ocean. Whether it is a gentle breeze or a strong wind, as long as you do not regard yourself as a wave, the ocean will always be the ocean.

Your heart is the whole sky, and your thoughts are the clouds in the sky. Whether it is white clouds floating or dark clouds, as long as you don't regard yourself as a cloud, the sky will always be the sky.

When you understand that you are the sea, that you are the sky, and just watch the thoughts come and go, this is meditation. When you are copying scriptures, no matter what thoughts come up, don't be anxious, don't be happy, and don't be surprised, it's just a thought. Thoughts do not come from the outside world, but from your own heart, and will disappear in your heart. Just like the waves come from the sea and disappear in the sea, there is nothing strange about it.

However, once you try to stop the waves, they will become very powerful and have a huge impact, just like when the waves encounter a dam, they will become crazy. Similarly, when you want to stop a certain thought, a split is created and a confrontation is formed. You become the dam and no longer the sea.

—Blue Lion, “Practicing in Copying Scriptures” What is cultivation? Cultivation is to subdue one’s own mind.

The Diamond Sutra is a widely circulated Mahayana sutra. At the beginning of the sutra, Subhuti, a great disciple of the Buddha, mentioned two

Question: World-honored One, how should a good man or a good woman who has aspired to attain the Anuttara Samyaksambodhi mind abide? How should one subdue his or her mind?

Throughout the Diamond Sutra, the Buddha is answering these two questions.

The most fundamental question of spiritual practice is how to subdue the mind. Once you have subdued your mind, you become the master of your mind and the master of your emotions, and you will no longer be troubled by them. How do you subdue your mind? Being able to see your various habits and patterns and not being carried away by them is to subdue your mind, and this is spiritual practice.

Practice can subdue one's mind. When one subdues one's mind, wisdom will grow. With wisdom, one can naturally resolve the troubles in life.

When it comes to spiritual practice, many people think that they must leave the world and go to some uninhabited mountain to meditate and chant. Of course, if you have such an opportunity and have your own spiritual teacher who allows you to do so, then that is very good. But most of us do not have such conditions. We have families to take care of, we cannot let go of our relatives and friends, and we are even more reluctant to give up some material enjoyments in life. This is also human nature.

Is there a way to practice in daily life and work? Of course there is, and this is the focus of this book: practicing in life.

To practice in life is to practice the ability to subdue one's mind in daily life. When you really understand the method of practice, walking, eating, chatting, working, even being in a daze can all be used for practice.

There is nothing special about the nature of spiritual practice. Its essence is to repeatedly go deep into our mind continuum and change it. Otherwise, this precious human life will be wasted. You spend your whole life chasing your thoughts and clinging to the reincarnation created by them. In fact, you are losing yourself in a dream without realizing it.

What is “mind continuum”?

When you get home and your wife complains the moment you open the door, “You still remember to come back! You always come back so late!” You feel unhappy, thinking about how tired you are from work and how you still don't get any understanding from your family when you get home, and the pressure you feel. The more you think about it, the more you feel wronged. Thinking about the things that happened in the past, the angrier you get, so you…

This is the continuity of the mind. Your wife complained and you became unhappy, with one thought after another. This is the continuity of thoughts. You can imagine what happens next: you and your wife start to quarrel, or have a cold war…

How do you change it? Change your mental continuum. This is not an easy thing to do because thoughts keep coming one after another, like a waterfall, continuously. It is difficult to bring your awareness to change it, and it is difficult to change it. This is why you say, “I can't control my emotions, I can't control my temper.”

However, it is also easy to change the continuum of mind, as long as you can “see” it in time. For example, if you hear your wife complaining and feel unhappy, and think of a series of things, at this time, you raise your awareness and see your unhappiness: Haha, the mind starts to make up stories again! You know that the mind is making up stories, and the story-making is interrupted. When you see this kind of continuum of mind, the continuum of mind is naturally interrupted.

Look! You see the thoughts and interrupt the continuity of thoughts. This is the practice in life. The key point here is that you

Being able to “see” your own thoughts and being able to see them in time is awareness. This is a skill that can be practiced.

Let’s look at two examples.

I went to the cafeteria for lunch at noon. After I finished my staple food and dishes, I went to get some fruit (oranges). My hand reached out to an orange and my eyes glanced at the other oranges. I saw that I was habitually being picky [see] and took the orange that my hand touched [change].

I have resigned and need to send some documents back to my former employer. When I sent them out, I thought of paying on delivery. I saw that I wanted my former employer to pay for the courier fee. Haha, it's just a few dollars, I'm so stingy! I chose to pay on delivery. The two small examples above are about practicing in life. In the first example, the habit of being picky and always wanting better things is a pattern. Once the object appears, the mind continuum appears. Once you see it, you change. In the second example, you see your own fussiness, and you change your behavior. It is important to remind you that practice does not require you to not be picky, but to not be controlled by the “picky” pattern; it does not make you generous, but to see your stingy pattern and not be controlled by the “stingy” pattern.

Let’s look at another example.

There are six or seven kinds of shampoo in the bathroom at home. I was concentrating on washing my hair, and turned around to see Xiaobao mixing various shampoos in a small bottle for an experiment. My heart immediately tightened and my anger instantly erupted. [Look] At this moment, I saw the anger in my heart, saw myself raising my hand to swing it at his butt, and saw my angry and twisted face. Stare at the thought that suddenly erupted. Stare, stare! [Stare] My obsession: “I” dislike Xiaobao for wasting shampoo, dirtying clean clothes and having to wash them again, which is troublesome; this child is naughty and always makes trouble for me, and I always have to clean up his mess, which is not good; in order to accompany him, I lost the right to freely control my time, which is not free. All of these are about caring about myself! [Dig]

Accepting the child's exploratory nature, I put down my hand raised in the air, leaned over and asked Xiaobao: “Hey! Little brat, are you doing your little experiment again?” [Edit]

He raised his head and said, “Mom, I'll mix you some fragrant shampoo so you won't lose so much hair.” Fortunately, I controlled my crazy hands. If I had hit such a warm child, he would have been so sad, and I would have regretted it so much! Awareness is really a wonderful method.

The above example seems simple, but it is actually not that simple.

During the homework, the mother's emotions had already appeared, and she was about to hit the child. She saw it in time and focused on the emotions. Then she saw the attachment behind it, and finally changed her behavior, avoiding a tragedy, and also saw the warmth of the child. In the whole process, there is a kind of ability, which is “awareness”. Among them, [watch] [watch] [dig] [change] are methods of using awareness to treat emotions, which will be introduced in detail in the later chapters of this book.

Of course, if you feel that your life is perfect, whether it is life, work, family, or emotions, and you have never had any worries or pain, then you have no interest in practicing in life. That's great, and I wish you all the best! You don't need to read the rest of this book!

On the contrary, if you find that you have a lot of troubles in your life, whether it is parent-child relationships, intimate relationships, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflicts, or work troubles or emotional problems, you are often troubled by these troubles, even tortured and miserable. Then you need to seriously learn the method of awareness.

Come on, let’s get started!

edit 1.4 Questions and Answers 1. I have the freedom to like and dislike things, and the freedom to lose my temper. Do I need to be aware of these as well? A: Yes, you can like or dislike, be happy or sad, be joyful or miserable, you can be in any state. This should not be considered “freedom”, it can only be considered a different state. The freedom that this book talks about is that you can not be controlled by these states.

You can lose your temper, but losing your temper does not mean you are free. Most likely, you have to lose your temper because of external influences. You get angry when you see your children playing games. You get upset when you hear your mother-in-law nagging.

At this moment, you are like a machine with a set program. It is a habitual reaction and you cannot take the lead. This is not freedom. If you want yourself not to be controlled by such a “program”, you need to practice awareness.

When you learn to be aware and find that your child is playing games again, you see your anger, hear your mother-in-law's nagging, and see your annoyance, at this moment, you have the ability to stop or choose to continue. You have choices, not just one path. This is what we call freedom.

1. When you are in a bad state, how do you adjust yourself? A: Everyone has bad days. Sometimes, when you encounter something annoying, even if you eliminate your emotions, you will still feel a little depressed. I don't want to answer how to adjust. You can find too many techniques and methods on the Internet.

What I want to tell you is: good or bad state, it is normal, just like it is normal to have sunny days and rainy days. So when you are in a bad state, just look at it. This state will slowly disappear by itself. Don't worry about this state, and don't always think about adjusting this state, just look at it and wait for it to go away by itself. Don't expect a good state, and don't reject a bad state. Think of yourself as the sky. No matter whether it is dark clouds or white clouds, they will come when they come, without welcoming or seeing off.

In addition, if you understand awareness, the moment you see that you are in a bad state, the moment you see that you are at the bottom, you are no longer at the bottom. Just like when you can see the valley, you have already left the valley. At this moment, if you can stay in this “seeing” and just do what you should do at the moment, the state of the bottom will no longer exist. On the contrary, if you feel guilty, anxious, depressed and desperate because you find yourself at the bottom again, at this moment, you are back to the bottom again.

Do you understand? If not, that’s OK. You should understand it after you finish reading this book.

1. I have always been respectful and polite to my colleagues, but I have not received any response. They often greet me coldly, which makes me feel uncomfortable. Over time, I have withdrawn my enthusiasm. This will bother me and even affect my work. I don’t know how to resolve it. What should I do? A: This is a very common problem. If you feel uncomfortable communicating with your colleagues, this means you are being restrained. Analyze what is restraining you.

There is a certain logic of expectation behind your question: you respect others and expect them to respect you in return. You greet others politely and expect them to respond in the same way. If this expectation is not met, you will feel uncomfortable, be affected, and even have problems with your work.

If you greet others politely just because you like it and think it is polite, then you don't need to care about other people's response. Because someone is not used to greeting others, it is also his habit, he just likes it this way; your definition of respect is that others should greet you politely. But in someone's definition, greeting has nothing to do with respect (I have encountered several real examples).

If you see these two points and see that your expectations are actually based on your own assumptions, then the fact that you didn't get a response when you greeted someone won't bother you or constrain you. In the future, if you're in a good mood, continue to greet someone, and if you're in a bad mood, don't greet someone. It has nothing to do with whether others respond or not. You are free. What does this have to do with work?

Seeing patterns and expectations here is to practice in life. Usually these patterns and expectations restrict you and affect you. When you see them, freedom will appear!

1. Blue Leo, I am interested in spiritual practice and I often practice it, but many people around me think I am weird. Also, why am I so interested in spiritual practice? A: Most people are used to following the crowd and are unwilling to make their own decisions. When you ask them, they will say that everyone else does this. So, when a person wants to be independent, he or she will appear strange at first. Cultivation is something that makes you independent. So, it is normal for people around you to think you are strange.

As for why you are interested in spiritual practice, don't ask such questions. What answer do you expect to get by asking such questions? I say it's because you have good fortune, I say you were a very good spiritual practitioner in your previous life? You will be complacent with such answers, and you will feel that you are different. You must see that this is a trick of the self, don't be fooled. In fact, there is no need to ask why. Spiritual practice is not thinking, not logic, spiritual practice is experience, it is experience. Questions are just thoughts, what answers do thoughts need? There will be endless questions, similar to “Why do I like spiritual practice?” I say your inner nature will guide you to explore the truth. Then there will be: What is nature? What is the truth? Why is there guidance? How to guide… The questions will be endless.

However, when you see the pattern of the ego, you don't need to ask such questions, because you don't need answers at all. Why are you interested in practice? No answer is needed. When you feel that you should practice well, then practice well.

If you are not interested in practicing, just put it aside. It is that simple.

1. I’ve been a little confused lately about being true to myself and self-deception, so please give me some advice! A: It is very good to have this kind of confusion and doubt! When you ask similar questions in the future, you can narrow the scope and give specific examples.

If you are just asking how to distinguish between being your true self and deceiving yourself, then I want to tell you: there is no true self at all, it is all self-deception.

Someone said, “I am straightforward and never beat around the bush.” ​​He is just labeling himself.

Someone said, “I am very upright and don't bother to flatter others.” He is also labeling others.

When is the right time to “be yourself”?

It is you who see all the truth and still love life.

Even if there are tens of thousands of people, I will still go.

No matter how rough the waves are, I will remain calm.

If I hear the truth in the morning, I can die in the evening.

……

Why is this so?

Only when you have no self can you truly be yourself!

1.5 Thinking and Practice

What is practice in life? Talk about your understanding of practice in life.

Based on your own life, talk about your understanding of the saying “Only when you can see, you are free.”

What changes do you hope to achieve in yourself through learning and practicing in life?